


Take Me Apart

by Lenticular



Series: Tenzin's Affair 'verse [4]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Side Story, two repressed idiots in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29805738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenticular/pseuds/Lenticular
Summary: Tarrlok falls for a married man.A collection of side fics to 'Crawl Into My Heart'
Relationships: Tarrlok/Tenzin (Avatar)
Series: Tenzin's Affair 'verse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869313
Comments: 29
Kudos: 24





	1. Stare

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Crawl Into My Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767682) by [Lenticular](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenticular/pseuds/Lenticular). 



> So this is, uhhh, a collection of side stories for my other fic, 'Crawl Into My Heart', essentially depicting the events of that fic (and some more) from Tarrlok's POV.
> 
> However, Tarrlok _is_ a child abuse survivor, and that does come up in later chapters, but I'll make a note in the specific author notes when it happens.

“He's staring at you again," Nook said with an irritated look over Tarrlok's shoulder.

"When isn't he?" said Tarrlok. He pulled a folder from the drawer with a small noise of triumph.

"It's your braids," said Arnaq, leaning on the filing cabinet next to him. "He's regretting shaving off his own hair 'cause he wanted pigtails."

They laughed together, heads ducking as they tried to muffle it.

"Oh, no, he's not listening to a word Amak is saying," Arnaq said, her voice still bubbling with laughter.

Tarrlok turned to look and, sure enough, Councilman Tenzin was staring at him. He smiled and nodded at the airbender, who seemed entirely too thrilled at the gesture before realising that he was being asked a question.

"I should probably go save Amak," Tarrlok sighed, handing the folder to Nook.

"Offer him a braid," Arnaq hissed at his back. Tarrlok ignored her.

"--terribly sorry. Jinora is keeping us up all night, I’m asleep on my feet, you understand," Councilman Tenzin was babbling, a nervous flush in his cheeks.

Amak frowned. "Jinora?"

"His newborn daughter," Tarrlok interjected. "Honestly, sir, sometimes I think you’re not following the news at all."  _ Or reading the social briefings I leave on your desk. _

Amak scoffed, dismissing it with a scornful, "The  _ popular _ press." Tarrlok's expression must have made it through, because he came to his senses and went on hurriedly, "Er, that is, uh, c-c-c-congratulations on your daughter, C-Councilman Tenzin. A joyous occasion."

"Thank you, Councilman Amak," said Tenzin, his voice tight; if Amak had blown this deal, Tarrlok was putting salt in his already cheap tea for a week. "Now, what was it you wished to talk to me about?”

Amak looked like he wanted to cry for a moment.

Tarrlok could already hear the stuttering mess he would manage, so he stepped in, turning a bright smile on Tenzin.

"We were wondering if you could persuade your honoured mother to join us for the Winter Solstice,” he said. “It would do the Watertribe community here in the city good to see her.”

Tenzin stared at him, startled, mouth opening a few times before he managed, "I, uh... I’m not sure it’s something you should count on. She’s very busy with young Korra.”

This game Tarrlok knew how to play, and he nodded, eager and attentive. “And how is our prodigy Avatar?”

“Good!” Tenzin said, all awkward pride, and walking right into it. “She’s-- she’s doing very well! She turned seven last month. Well underway in her education; she’s very vivacious! Impulsive. But, well, seven!”

"Aw," said Amak, pious man that he was.

Tarrlok beamed. "Wonderful!" he said and went in for the kill. "Then there’s no reason Master Katara can’t take a brief break to visit.”

For a moment, Councilman Tenzin went through a range of expressions, his pale cheeks flushing further. Finally he stammered, "I can certainly ask." He smiled; it wasn't very convincing.

"Thank you, Tenzin!" Amak said. "I owe you!"

"Oh, now, be careful what you offer!" Tenzin said with the sort of desperate forced cheer peculiar to people who spend too long behind a desk.

Amak laughed stiltedly. Tenzin laughed even more so. Tarrlok joined in to be polite.

Over Amak's shoulder, Tarrlok could see Nook giving him a look half perplexed, half amused.

Tarrlok stopped pretending to laugh and said, a touch too loudly, “Should I walk Councilman Tenzin out and take him over the plan, sir?”

Both Councilmen looked deeply relieved. Tarrlok felt a moment's contempt that they were so free with their emotions, so open with their expressions.

“Oh, yes, please do, Tarrlok,” said Amak.

Tarrlok smiled at Tenzin, gesturing to the door and his own desk just outside it. "If you'd follow me, please, sir." He led the way outside--trying to ignore the way Tenzin's cape swished against his ankles as the airbender walked far too close--and rooted through his desk drawer.

Tenzin was  _ staring _ again. Tarrlok pretended not to notice. On some level, he supposed it was flattering, but he'd appreciate it more if the Councilman didn't do it when he was trying to work.

"The itinerary," he said, shoving the paper at Tenzin who finally seemed to realise that he was, in fact, present in a professional capacity.

"Right!" he sputtered, snatching the itinerary. "Yes!"

"The bits underlined in red," Tarrlok said, leaning close to point, and maybe that was a little uncalled for, but the Councilman was turning a fetching shade of pink, "that's where we'd like to see Master Katara, but it is of course optional."

Tenzin was nodding, staring very hard at the paper and clearly not reading it.

"However," Tarrlok continued, "if she only feels like she can handle one event, we would like to see her at the ritual for the Ascension of Yue. It’s both the most important part, and, well," he laughed briefly, "she was present at the real event.

“I know,” Tenzin stammered. “I am half Watertribe myself.”

Tarrlok glanced at the pale, gangly, linen-clad airbender for a moment and said, "So you are, sir. Pardon my forgetfulness." He turned back to the paper before anything judgemental came out and continued, "I’ve tried to confine her suggested appearances to the evenings-- you’ll excuse my assumption, I hope, that as a waterbender, she feels stronger in the evening?”

“She-- yes, she does,” Tenzin said.

"Wonderful," said Tarrlok and drew away from him again. He was amused to notice that Tenzin leaned towards him before catching himself. “I hope you can convince her, sir; she’s a hero to so many of us.”

"I will-- yes, she-- I will certainly try!" Tenzin said, and this time he seemed to mean it.

Tarrlok bowed, short and precise. "Good day, then, Councilman."

"And you, uh," Tenzin floundered before, very hesitantly, venturing, "Tarrlok...?"

_ Well, he got my name right, _ Tarrlok thought a little uncharitably. "Thank you, sir," he said and turned on his heel, slipping back into the office before Tenzin offered to show his collection of bison-wool capes or whatever airbenders collected for fun.

"Well?" said Amak, hands wringing.

"He'll try, sir," Tarrlok assured him.

“Did he ask for your braids?” Arnaq answered, her voice carefully innocent.

“No, but he definitely wants them,” Tarrlok said.

“What?” said Amak, looking somehow more frazzled in his confusion. “Your braids? But… those are cultural, he can’t--”

“It’s a joke, sir,” Tarrlok assured him.

"He shouldn't be joking about our culture," Amak continued, looking more and more concerned as if he'd inadvertently invited a bigot into the celebrations.

"No, sir, not--  _ Arnaq _ is joking," Tarrlok assured him.

Arnaq emphatically mouthed 'asshole' at him, but Amak deflated with relief.

"Oh, well," said the Councilman, "I don't see how that's funny at all, young lady."

"It's a reference to a song, sir," she said. She was a truly terrible liar, but lucky for her Amak was completely incapable of seeing that.

Tarrlok saw his out and took it, sending Arnaq a cheeky wink and getting a flustered glare in return as she attempted to make up a song wholesale.


	2. Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tarrlok at the winter solstice festival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **CW:** brief references to child abuse.

"And where in the North are you from?" said Master Katara.

"Oh, a little spot two days east of the Capital," Tarrlok said, keeping himself very steady so that he might not start babbling at her. "Honestly, I moved to Agna Qel’a proper when I was seventeen to study, I consider that my home more than anything."

She laughed, her eyes disappearing in kind wrinkles. "I felt that way about Republic City for a while!"

"You start to," said Councilwoman Kirima, looking out across Yue Bay fondly. "I used to think it was dreadfully warm!"

"Oh, you should spend time in the desert," Katara said. "Have you been to the desert, young man?"

Tarrlok couldn't help the wide smile as she turned her attention to him again.

The woman who outlawed bloodbending. The woman his father hated. She could have ignored him entirely, and she would still have been the most angelic person Tarrlok had ever met.

"Only on the very borders, Master Katara," he said.

"Mother," said Councilman Tenzin, breaking into their cluster of fur and hide with a touch to Katara's arm. "Pema and I are headed home. Will you be alright?"

Katara made a small  _ mou _ with her lips, startled, and said, "Oh, yes, Kya is around here somewhere; she'll help me." Her hand touched Tenzin's for a moment. "I'll see both of you and Jinora tomorrow, then."

Councilman Tenzin smiled, kissed her cheek and vanished into the crowds.

"Tarrlok!" Amak whispered frantically, grabbing his arm. "The chocolate!"

"Oh," said Tarrlok, casting a regretful look at Master Katara. "Right."

The box of expensive chocolate - vegetarian - that Amak had procured in gratitude to Tenzin for bringing his mother to the city. The mother Tarrlok desperately wanted to talk to and now couldn't, because Amak certainly wasn't handing over those chocolates himself.

Tarrlok sighed and bowed. "Master Katara, I have been most honoured to meet you, but I must take my leave." He shook off Amak's hand and slipped off as well, moving at a half-run.

Behind him, he heard a pleased, "What a very nice young man," and it bolstered his step.

He collected the box from the wardrobe and went hunting for Tenzin. The crowds were thinning, but the Councilman had worn some woven facsimile of Watertribal clothing instead of his usual saffron robes. In the midst of a Winter Solstice celebration, he would just be blue in a sea of blue.

Tarrlok made a frustrated noise, looking through the pavilions until he reached one empty but for a solitary figure. Dimly lit by the ocean lights, Tarrlok thought he could make out an arrow-tattoo snaking up over a bald head.

"Councilman Tenzin?" he tried, hopeful.

The figure started and spun, revealing the Councilman's shocked face. "Yes?"

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Tarrlok moved into the pavilion and offered up the box. 

"A thanks from Councilman Amak," he said. "For bringing Master Katara here."

Tenzin made a stiff sort of expression and accepted it. "You seemed quite happy about my mother's presence as well."

Tarrlok tried and failed to hold back his smile, allowing himself a moment of gushing, "I used to hear about her exploits during the war as a child! I never thought I'd get to meet her."

“Well, I’m glad that-- that you’re-- that it made your day,” stammered the Councilman, clutching the box to his chest.

Tarrlok laughed, almost giddy with it, and said, "I'm afraid I don't have anything sweet to give you, sir, so I hope my thanks are enough."

The light made it hard to see, but he thought he saw Tenzin flush and nearly kicked himself. That hadn't even been on purpose.

"More than enough," Tenzin said.

"Then thank you," Tarrlok said, a little too quickly, and bowed. "I hope you and your family get home safe."

Tenzin moved suddenly towards him, and Tarrlok thought, in the part of him that was forever eleven and frightened and small,  _ He's going to hit me. _

He flinched, trying to draw back, but then Tenzin's lips pressed to his and it wasn't a strike, it wasn't a vicious back hand - deserved because he was  _ useless, _ completely  _ useless, _ stop  _ crying _ \- it was a kiss, and Tarrlok froze.

Absurdly, his next thought was,  _ I didn't think he'd have the guts, _ and he relaxed into the kiss.

And then it was over. Tenzin stumbled away from him, wide-eyed and gasping a litany of apologies and excuses, every word tripping over the next.

Tarrlok watched him take another step back, silent.

"That was entirely inappropriate," Tenzin gasped, winding down enough to be understandable. “As your superior, I take full responsibility; that should never have happened!" He rubbed his shaved head . "I’m a married man--”

"I don't care," dropped from Tarrlok's lips before he realised he had said it.

Tenzin stopped cold. "What?"

Something was roiling inside Tarrlok, something greedy and triumphant. The same vicious need that had once driven him to seduce a professor at university. The knowledge that someone would choose  _ him _ over duty and principle.

"I don't care that you're married," he said, the lie coming easy. "They're your vows to break, not mine."

"And-- and I shouldn't have," Tenzin stammered, avoiding his eyes.

"I suppose not," Tarrlok said and moved closer, watched the way Tenzin's skin was darkening in the low light. "But I’m not blind; I’ve noticed how you’ve been looking at me since I started at City Hall. And so have others.”

Tenzin looked up sharply, and Tarrlok smiled.

"How about this, sir?" he offered. "Tomorrow I get off at seven. I’ll leave my address on your desk, and from there the choice is yours. Maybe it’ll get it out of your system, stop the gossip."

The look Tenzin gave him was one of such naked  _ want _ that, for a moment, Tarrlok felt breathless himself.

The Councilman forced his face neutral and managed a soft, "I'll consider it."

"Travel safely then, sir," said Tarrlok with a smile and bowed again. He could almost taste the triumph as he walked away.

The crowds in the pavilions had thinned out further, and Tarrlok was not surprised when Amak grabbed him.

"Well?" demanded his boss. "Did you find Tenzin?"

"I didn't throw the chocolates in the bay, sir," Tarrlok said. "Yes, I found him. He says thank you."

Amak looked relieved, matching Tarrlok's stride towards the exit.

"Good. You seem very cheerful."

"Do I, sir?" asked Tarrlok. "Today agreed with me, I suppose. I got to meet Master Katara."

"Oh, yes, she's wonderful," Amak said, somehow even more starstruck than Tarrlok had been himself. "It was such a pleasure to meet her."

"Truly," said Tarrlok. He bowed to his boss. "I must take my leave, sir. Do you need anything else tonight?"

Amak waved him off. "Oh, no, no, go on. I will see you tomorrow."

Tarrlok nodded and tugged his tunic closed at the neck, making for home. The streets were still full of revelers, singing raunchy versions of the Hymn to Yue, silver garlands drifting slowly to the asphalt.

It all had the air of a party running out its welcome, the guests not yet realising as much.

And yet… the lights shone a little brighter, the colours stood out a little more clear, and the thought came,  _ My father would be furious. _

Tarrlok smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The North Pole capital has a name now?! When did it get a name?!

**Author's Note:**

> So this will update when it updates. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ No promises.
> 
> Anyway, you can all blame awkwardwritersyndrome for this.


End file.
